WHAT IS SEX ADDICTION?

“Like an alcoholic unable to stop drinking, sexual addicts are unable to stop their self-destructive sexual behavior. Family breakups, financial disasters, loss of jobs, and risk to life are the painful themes of their stories.

Sex addicts come from all walks of life – they may be ministers, physicians, homemakers, factory workers, salespersons, secretaries, clerks, accountants, therapists, dentists, politicians, or executives, to name just a few examples. 

Most were abused as children – sexually, physically, or emotionally. The majority grew up in families in which addiction already flourished, including alcoholism, compulsive, eating, and compulsive gambling. Most grapple with other addictions as well, but they find sex addiction the most difficult to stop.

Much hope nevertheless exists for these addicts and their families. Sex addicts have shown an ability to transform a life of self-destruction into a life of self-care, a life in chaos and despair into one of confidence and peace.”

– Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D.

Author of Out of the Shadows

Sexual Addiction Defined

Sexual addiction is defined as any sexually related, compulsive behavior that interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one’s work environment.

Sexual addiction has been called sexual dependency and sexual compulsivity. By any name, it is a compulsive behavior that completely dominates the addict’s life. Sexual addicts make sex a priority more important than family, friends, and work. Sex becomes the organizing principle of addict’s lives. They are willing to sacrifice what they cherish most to preserve and continue their unhealthy behavior.

Dr. Patrick Carnes estimates three to six percent of the population is facing sexual addiction. It remains unclear whether one gender has a higher incidence of sexual addiction than the other. 

Research by Dr. Carnes shows that approximately 20 – 25% of all patients who seek help for sexualdependency are women. (This same male-female ratio is found among those recovering from alcohol addiction, drug addiction, and pathological gambling.)

Source: www.SexHelp.com

SEXUAL DEPENDENCY VS. OTHER ADDICTIONS

Sexual addiction can be understood by comparing it to other types of addictions. Individuals addicted to alcohol or other drugs, for example, develop a relationship with their “chemical(s) of choice” – a relationship that takes precedence over any other aspects of their lives.

Addicts find they need drugs merely to feel normal.

In sexual addiction, a parallel situation exists. Sex – like food or drugs in other addictions—provides the “high” and addicts become dependent on this sexual high to feel normal. They substitute unhealthy relationships for healthy ones. They opt for temporary pleasure rather than the deeper qualities of “normal” intimate relationships.

Sexual addiction follows the same progressive nature as other addictions. Sexual addicts struggle to control their behaviors and experience despair over their constant failure to do so.

Their loss of self-esteem grows, fueling the need to escape even further into their addictive behaviors. A sense of powerlessness pervades the lives of addicts.

Useful Smartphone & Computer Applications

For many Sex/Porn Addicts, it is very helpful to use software to block porn.

Listed below are some we recommend:

Covenant Eyes; Offtime; Net Nanny; Productivity Owl for Chrome; OpenDNS; Cold Turkey; X3Watch; Freedom; Accountable2You; Brave Browser; Qustodio; Ever Accountable; X3Groups; Lion App; Spin Browser, Pluckeye

It’s best to let someone other than your spouse or partner help set and keep the password.

Here is a more in-depth look at various software choices and a description of each one:

https://www.sexualrecovery.com/online-controls-for-sex-romance-addicts/

 Important Links

● Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous https://slaafws.org/

● Sex Addicts Anonymous https://saa-recovery.org/

● Sexaholics Anonymous https://www.sa.org/

● The International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals https://iitap.com/

● For partners of sex addicts http://www.cosa-recovery.org/home.html

● Your Brain On Porn: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/research/